Smelling Roses

We are early, he wants to play with his flying car in the sand. The school children are playing on the equipment and oval. He doesn’t want to play in the sand when the big children are on the equipment. We walk past, I’ve taken my shoes off, I feel the grass, then bricks, then concrete. We choose our spot under the tree, on the grass near the courts.

I place my bag behind me, it becomes my pillow. I stretch out. I look up and see the leaves twinkling in the breeze. The blue sky. Bees in the tree tops and birds on the branches. It’s beautiful. I close my eyes. I breathe. I stretch out more. I feel the grass on my bare arms, feet and through my clothes. I feel the air stir over me. It is warm. I’m breathing deeply, my body relaxes further. I feel the twigs, the dips in the lawn, the tree roots. It’s not uncomfortable. It feels perfect.

I hear the children calling to one another, the basketballs bouncing on the bitumen. There is laughter. Joy. The birds are singing. My son is digging in the grass beside me, stirring up the dirt with fingers and twigs. He’s chatting to himself. He’s happy.

Breathe, grass, breeze, bees, birds, children, ball, breathe, feel, joy, Be.

He picks the sand up pours five points on my shirt, I don’t stop him. I don’t mind. There are holes in my shirt, I feel the sand fall into the holes. I tell him, he purposely puts more sand on me, directly into the holes. I feel it slide down my side. His handfuls increase, he pours it on my arms and legs, my neck and into my hair, some slides off. It feels silky as it slides off. I remember sand feeling like this when I was a child. I still don’t stop him.

He tells me I’m an island. He drives his flying car over the island. Parks it on my forehead. Parents have begun to arrive to collect their children, they are chatting. They can’t believe I’m letting him do this. He rubs all the dirt in, it’s dusty black Perth sand, it’s dirty, I know I will be dirty. I’m too relaxed to mind. I feel the roughness of the sand rub on my skin. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just a sensation.

The siren goes. I roll over, attempt to get the sand and grass out of my hair. There is a lot. I succeed in looking like I’ve been pulled through a bush backwards. I dust off my clothes. Stand, slip on my shoes and grab my bag. Round up the kids and head home for a warm shower.

I’ve been tired all day. I’m not tired now.
I’ve been irritable all day. I’m relaxed now.
I’ve been at a loose end all day. I’m complete now.

I’m off to enjoy the weekend with my family. I hope you enjoy yours.

The Kittens Mum

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